I feel compelled to write this today after receiving something I dread every year...the Christmas newsletter. They are appalling, I loathe them I feel that frankly If it is the only time of year you can tell me what you are up to is via an A4 amateurish photo-shopped letter then please just don't bother.
I sometimes write a note in a Christmas card, granted, especially if I know that for example the person concerned has had a momentous event in their life or I am giving them a nudge about meeting up in the new year.
This one today ( and it is not even Dec 1st) is full of what little Catlin and Imogen have been up to - I've never met them, I am sure they are their parents pride and joy - but really, honestly, am I interested in whether, Catlin has swum a whole width in swimming class, or Imogen has learned fecking London's Burning on the recorder. In a word - no. There parents have not physically spoken to me in nearly 9 years.
There are many people know as a family, who do this abhorrent thing and I have to admit that in the past I been very tempted to write one for us. There was one year- we had had the most appalling year...just for a change, she says with a big grin on her face. My father had died, and my mother had just been diagnosed with breast cancer - yes that sort of a fab year. We were all sitting at lunch remonstrating about the pile of offensive 'newsletters' neatly stacked on the dresser and I begged my DM to let me write one for us.
I was going to basically to announce to our collective Christmas card lists which probably total 400 people that since my Papa's untimely demise and DM's diagnosis that I had gone completely off the rails, that I had a crack habit, that I was hardly able to string a sentence together (nothing new there then) and that my sister in reaction to all of this had become a prostitute. I was not allowed- :(. DM is game for most of my silliness and in fact on most occasions thinks up far more 'interesting ideas' than I - I am glad really because it would have meant stooping to their ridiculous level.
So if you are thinking about sending me a 'Newsletter' 'Round Robin' 'Family 2009' or other such absurdities then just don't waste the postage. If you are someone I genuinely care about then I know what is happening in your life and there is a 99% chance that I like your children.
On the bottom of all of my work-related signatures previously, there has been a PS save trees - do not print this strap-line - take heed and don't waste the paper !!!
Right, I have said it, it is off my chest now, thank you .....
